Monday, June 25, 2007 6/25/2007 11:49:00 PM
news and memories...treasure is the magic word.
i heard something today, a sudden one. i was taken aback, just like i was 7 years ago. it made me recalled what had happened then...
i think it was 23 May 2000..got home after sch, bro told me maternal grandma met a road accident. she called him earlier on, saying she was at ____ hospital, in a normal ward.
it wasn't her first road accident and since she was able to make tt call, we thought she was fine..just like she was in the previous accident. nobody rushed down to see her in tt afternoon.
by the time aunt made her way there by night time, the nurses told her grandma fell into coma, had to undergo operation, and had to be transferred into icu.
STUNNED..i only got to see her in the evening on next day. horrified, my tears immediately fell. i didn't know things were that serious.
she was bruised badly, her hair was shaved and had a bandage on the top of her head. tt's where she was operated on.
she had tubes on her and here comes even more bad news...the doc said she's actually brain-dead, it's unlikely that she'll wake up and she's actually surviving on a life support system...
perhaps i couldn't believe my ears then, i felt so angry with the doc. on top of tt, his attitude sucks too! the choice of words he used to explain to us..were a terrible combination! totally unsympathetic!
i talked to grandma. seeing those bruises on her, esp those on her face, it hurts so much inside of me. i believed very strongly she heard me, heard all we said to her. i saw her fingers moving one day, i can swear that my eyes weren't playing tricks on me! i really seen it...
i think i went back to sch for the nxt few days and luckily it was the last wk of sch before the jun holidays.
fri came, i didn't wanna go home to polish my boots for npcc training the nxt day. i didn't wanna leave the hospital but i got persuaded home. no news.
sat came, i went straight to the hospital after sch. again, i didn't wanna go hm but my parents got me home again. no news.
sun came, 28 May 2000, it was paternal grandpa's birthday celebration. but we all stayed at the hospital till we left for the dinner at 10pm. no news when we left.
at dinner, i ate very little..no appetite and perhaps i was tired too. a call came and i was afraid. grandma passed on. it was crazy for me, right at tt moment.
left immediately for the hospital and the journey there was long....
i just couldn't stop tearing...even while the staff get ready to let us see her.
something we questioned at tt time, why did she choose to give up when none of us were around her tt night? when we were at there tt afternoon, tears were flowing down her cheeks.
i just feel, she probably don't wanna let us witness her leaving...and then, she left us quietly at night.
then as time passed..it dawned upon me tt though i may have complained abt grandma, she's the only grandparent whom i'm closest to, the only grandparent who i love so dearly.
i started to wonder when was the last time i last heard her voice, when was the last time i seen her, before she was unconscious.
humans just don't learn till they experience it, sometimes not even at all.
it's really cliche to say, treasure the people ard you. i only know i didn't treasure grandma.
the older i get, the more i'll wonder how it would have been if she's still here.
would i learn to appreciate her even more than when i was younger?
or would i still complain tt she keeps asking me to do things?
i really don't know..i won't know at all.
i just know tt if she's still here, i'll try and bring her out even more. after she recovered frm a mild stroke, she was very much cooped up at hm alone.
as my commencement draws nearer, i wonder how will she feel.
i guess she'll be proud of me? i hope so. i miss grandma so much...
so back to what i got to know today...
i know it's tough to go through, especially when things happened so suddenly. it will take some time to get over it but be assured he won't want you all to be upset for too long.
it's a sensitive period now and i'll take a step back to let you have your own space.
remember i'm behind you, supporting and backing you up along the way.
anytime you need anything, contact me. i'm here....for you.
