Tuesday, October 19, 2004 10/19/2004 09:04:00 PM
lost sheep still roamin......
here i am again, still feelin the same...at first i'm feelin a little better today, den later when i'm on the bus, i can't help thinkin abt it again...this time it felt like as if tears are gonna flow...but luckily it didn't or else people on the bus will think i'm nuts...haahaa..
then i saw a friend when i was on the way home, she asked what i'm studyin...when i mention maths, her reaction was like "that's crazy!!"..actually that's the reaction i get frm most people, probably i'm surrounded with friends who don't like maths??....i really don't know but this thought will appear in my mind, "why? what's wrong with studyin maths? am i really crazy to study this subject?"....i presume this feelin is what they call 'peer pressure'?....
previously before i get into this course, i really do think of myself as crazy to study maths...but now i realise there's actually a lot of people doin the same course...wow, i didn't know a lot of people like maths too....haahaa..well, maybe there's too little people around me who like maths...
then again, i'm still thinkin...i think all this feelings and thoughts arise because partially, i'm lost during lectures, don't understand what the lecturers are talking about, feeling so stress and worrying for my final mark in this semester...
what if i didn't choose to study maths right at the beginning?...what if i choose engineering then?...what and how will i be feeling now?....will i be feeling the same as what i'm going through now?...i didn't choose engineering because i don't want to study science.....what if i choose to study business then? or probably arts? i know that i just can't stop doing maths because it's what i've been enjoying all the while....oh man, all these 'what if' qns keep appearing...i can't see or predict what will happen if i take these different paths...sighz...
anyway, if you're reading this erene, thanx....though i'm still feeling the same, i did feel a little better after telling you how i felt...thanx for listening....=P
