Sunday, July 06, 2008 7/06/2008 12:47:00 AM
who am i
up till now...so much time has passed and yet nothing has changed. good or bad, nothing has changed. i know what i need but what use is there when it is only me who knows. who am i to everyone? i guess i am not who people see me as..xiao xin is leaving this place and will find somewhere else to hide.
Sunday, June 29, 2008 6/29/2008 09:47:00 PM
do you know?
I read my email again. I saw this sentence "..but after reading, you DON'T have to do anything at all. Just lend me your ears for the time being."Apparently, you did something. I knew it but I still let you had my phone and read the stuff inside. I held my phone back but I was stupid enough to delete them MYSELF. What do I have left right now? I lost you, I lost all that I once held dearly. This is not what I need. In this relationship, I am defeated and I admit failure.
Thursday, June 26, 2008 6/26/2008 07:32:00 AM
retribution
it is my retribution to go through what i'm going through now. i have been doing it to others but now finally understand how tough it is. that kind of rejection and unwantedness...
Sunday, June 22, 2008 6/22/2008 04:40:00 PM
tell me what to do
i dont know what has been happening lately. i may have always desired for you to be happy but it seems like you're not. with the course i went through, one sentence speaks to me. "nobody work for nothing, there is someone whom we work hard for." at that moment, you came to my mind. you may think i'm silly, but i want to work hard for you. sigh..am i stupid? i dont know. i have been trying too hard to get your attention but i'm always failing. i am more than willing to do anything for you. you always tell me you've hurt me..i NEVER want you to think this way anymore. can you stop having this thought in your mind? i dont want to be dragging you down or putting pressure on you. tell me, how can i make you feel better? i may not be able to do it but if you want me to let go to feel better, tell me.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008 6/17/2008 09:00:00 PM
too late
humans are just weird beings on this world. they always need to go through tough times before realizing the importance of some others.i realized and am starting to change. but all seems to be too late..i have missed my chance. i really need to learn much more faster and be smarter in life. xiao xin have been going through the past 23 years blindly and too carefree. till now...not even an accomplishment is done. what a failure!
Sunday, June 15, 2008 6/15/2008 11:09:00 PM
be patient or not?
life has been going on and getting quite routine. learnt and tried to look at things from a totally different angle...sometimes it'll make me feel better, sometimes not. xiao xin is still learning to take little steps at a time...don't really know what to do but i have to try.at moments, i have so much tt i want to say and express out but i really do need to think twice before i do anything. be patient xiao xin...sometimes its better not to do anything at all."humans will ONLY know how to treasure things when they've lost them"
Wednesday, May 28, 2008 5/28/2008 11:18:00 PM
shut up xiao xin
there are always stuff which i do not understand. i guess at times, only certain kind of people can understand the exact feelings that i'm going through. however, it is pathetic when you're just not allowed to let out your feelings to anyone at all. smiling vs frowning. allowed to choose vs being given no choice. we are similar but different too. xiao xin, please know what you should only do and be smarter.
Monday, May 26, 2008 5/26/2008 11:04:00 PM
gone with the wind
i've gone to aussie and back...with a shocking and bad news the moment i touched down. stunned, dumbfounded and shivering were what i felt right at that moment. news spread fast..many more came to know of this soon. we all waited for instructions, more news and information. i felt very bad when such news reached my ears. i don't know how to react. gathered with a few friends and talked about life. standing at her altar, my heart hurts for her and more for her family. all other friends were probably in a shock too. seeing her, tears just flow. when all other friends stand together, it is sad that something like this must happen before we are drawn closer together again. having to send her off, it was the least and last that i can do. as we still feel sad about her departure, we can only move on strongly. i guess i'm still in a shock.rest in peace and be happy wherever you are.
